When I was in art school way back when, I developed a few pronounced preferences in the pens that I use. It needs to feel right, it needs to write right, and I need to be able to flip spin it around my thumb when I’m bored or in a meeting. Couple this with the fact that I can also be stubbornly cheap, and hate actually buying pens, you can see where going to an expo – where branded pens are the swag of choice – would be like trick-or-treating for me.

Respect where it is due, I will at least make eye contact and thank the folks at the booth, and when I can I’ll have some basic conversation with them, regardless of how relevant their service or software is to me. Now and then I will admit that I just want the pen, but I don’t think they really mind, and seriously, when I find one I like I tend to keep it in my pocket and use it until I lose it or it dies. The Yahoo! pen I got at ad:tech London last year was outstanding, and I was very sad the day I literally ran it out of ink.

Today I made the rounds of the expo (three floors!) at SES NY, although I did not get another Yahoo! pen as they have changed the design and I already have one from PubCon. I’m sure I missed a few, but as a bit of a ‘thank you’ to the vendors for the ones I did get, I give you my reviews:

ABC Search
ABCSearch is the world’s largest privately held meta search engine, conducting over 100 million daily searches through our network of specialized engines and metacrawlers.

Body: oversized white with orange detail
Ink color: Black
Click or Cap: Click
Grippy: textured orange plastic
Branding/Logo: large blue logo and tagline

Rated on:
Aesthetics: eye catching – 3/5
Mechanics: design is biased to hold one particular way – 2/5
Ink quality: nothing special – 2/5
Spinnability: too light – 2/5

Overall: 2.25

Acronym media
Acronym Media, an independent, global Search Marketing and Keyword-Driven Marketing ™ agency, is headquartered in New York’s landmark Empire State Building. Consistently rated as a top 10 search engine agency by Advertising Age, the firm offers its clients 13 years of search marketing experience and top-notch SEM consulting services from multiple locations around the globe.

Body: orange plastic with whizzy integrated spring design
Ink color: Black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: no
Branding/Logo: black lettering with tagline and URL

Rated on:
Aesthetics: very space-age – 4/5
Mechanics: so-so – 3/5
Ink quality: boring – 3/5
Spinnability: very good – 5/5

Overall: 3.75

Adgooroo
Monitor competitors, expand keywords, and protect trademarks with AdGooroo. AdGooroo is the leading provider of search engine intelligence. Its proprietary technology tracks search activity across any industry vertical, empowering sophisticated agencies and advertisers with actionable data related to competitors’ keywords, ad copy, natural and paid search via online reports and daily e-mail alerts.

Body: Shiny blue plastic with chrome clip and tip
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: textured blue rubber
Branding/Logo: white URL which is also their logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: contoured design is cool 4/5
Mechanics: nice – 4/5
Ink quality: standard ballpoint – 3/5
Spinnability: great – 5/5

Overall: 4

adMarketplace
The adMarketplace Exchange has delivered performance and volume for over 100,000 Pay Per Click advertisers since 2003. adMarketplace is the leading one-stop shop for online marketers to drive performance-optimized PPC traffic from approximately 250 million searches every day.

Body: slim, clear plastic with green plastic clip
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: no
Branding/Logo: green printed logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: logo is difficult to read – 1/5
Mechanics: it’s really just a Bic – 2/5
Ink quality: feels kind of scratchy – 2/5
Spinnability: possible but not fun – 2/5

Overall: 1.75

Didit
With award-winning expertise in auctioned media management and targeted online advertising, Didit has been leading the evolution of online marketing with its blend of technology, intelligence, and passion since 1996. Through its multi-disciplinary methodology, Didit combines top-tier SEM strategy, highly sophisticated analytics and modeling, and best-of-breed technology to produce unmatched SEM results for clients across all major verticals.

Body: Shiny, dark green with gold details and wiry clip
Ink color: Black
Click or Cap: Twist
Grippy: contoured, smooth green rubber
Branding/Logo: small gold logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: very classy – 4/5
Mechanics: twist is awkward in practice – 3/5
Ink quality: dry at first, otherwise un – 3/5
Spinnability: uniquely impossible – 0/5

Overall: 2.5

Interwoven
Interwoven is a global leader in content management solutions. Interwoven’s software and services enable organizations to effectively leverage content to drive business growth by improving the customer experience, increasing collaboration, and streamlining business processes.

Body: amazing rocket shape with blue liquid body and glowing red light
Ink color: black – very small well, won’t last long
Click or Cap: small rubbery cap, will get lost easily
Grippy: no
Branding/Logo: white printed logo, no URL

Rated on:
Aesthetics: skews the standard – 5/5
Mechanics: cap will get lost, but light is coool – 4/5
Ink quality: nothing spiffy – 2/5
Spinnability: not a chance – 0/5

Overall: 3.75

Marchex
Marchex is a local online advertising company and leading publisher of local content. Marchex’s innovative advertising platform delivers search- and call-based marketing products and services for local and national advertisers. Marchex’s local content network, one of the largest online, helps consumers make better, more informed local decisions through its network of content-rich websites that reach tens of millions of unique visitors each month.

Body: Flat black plastic rollerball with metal clip.
Ink: Water-soluble cool Black
Click or Cap: Cap
Grippy: No
Branding/Logo: White text, no URL

Rated on:
Aesthetics: stylish and simple – 4/5
Mechanics: no moving parts – 4/5
Ink quality: Rollerball flows smoothly, I like it – 5/5
Spinnability: kind of light – 3/5

Overall: 4

Marin Software
Founded in April 2006 by experienced search marketers and software experts, Marin Software provides an enterprise-class paid search management application for advertisers and agencies. Combining power and ease-of-use, Marin Search Marketer addresses the workflow, analysis and optimization needs of professional search marketers, saving time and improving financial performance.

Body: gloss black plastic with plastic clip
Ink: Water-soluble neutral Black
Click or Cap: Click
Grippy: Yes, textured black
Branding/Logo: Silver logo with call to action and URL

Rated on:
Aesthetics: shiny, modern – 4/5
Mechanics: basic click – 3/5
Ink quality: very nice, smooth flow, neutral color – 5/5
Spinnability: very good 5/5

Overall: 4.25

Microsoft adCenter
Microsoft adCenter, part of Microsoft Digital Advertising Solutions, powers the paid search advertising service. Microsoft adCenter improves advertising performance and return on investment by providing a high quality audience and advanced targeting tools, and gives advertisers the right tools to manage and control their campaigns for top performance.

Body: Pearl white metal with black grip and chrome details
Ink: Black
Click or Cap: Twist
Grippy: smooth black
Branding/Logo: simple black text with URL on opposite side

Rated on:
Aesthetics: styley – 5/5
Mechanics: twist is awkward – 3/5
Ink quality: unexciting – 2/5
Spinnability: too much weight at the back – 2/5

Overall: 3

MobileStorm
mobileStorm powers your business with digital marketing solutions that reach people how they want to be reached — and makes you more money. Our customers love the Stun platform — advanced marketing technologies and many ways to reach their prospects with SMS, e-mail, fax, voice, RSS — even video messaging.

Body: Purple plastic with metal clip, chrome detal and black grip
Ink: Black
Click or Cap: Click
Grippy: smooth rubber with chrome banding
Branding/Logo: small white logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: busy – 2/5
Mechanics: nice springy click – 4/5
Ink quality: pretty standard ballpoint – 3/5
Spinnability: a little off balance – 3/5

Overall: 3

Offshoring.com
Offshoring is the practice of relocating business processes to another country as a means to decrease staff costs while increasing productivity. At Offshoring.com, we specialize in providing companies with dedicated personnel in a wide area of fields, including IT services, contact centers, and backend business processing.

Body: Forest green plastic with chrome and black detail
Ink color: Black
Click or Cap: Click
Grippy: Textured rubber
Branding/Logo: white logo and tagline

Rated on:
Aesthetics: nice color, clearly swag – 3/5
Mechanics: click button is almost pointy – 2/5
Ink quality: standard – 3/5
Spinnability: way too lightweight – 2/5

Overall: 2.5

Omniture
Omniture, Inc. is a leading provider of online business optimization software, enabling customers to manage and enhance online, offline, and multi-channel business initiatives. Omniture’s software, which it hosts and delivers to its customers as an on-demand subscription service, enables customers to capture, store, and analyze information generated by their websites and other sources and to gain critical business insights into the performance and efficiency of marketing and sales initiatives and other business processes.

Body: contoured silver with black grip and metal wire clip
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: twist
Grippy: contoured black rubber
Branding/Logo: logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: very space age – 4/5
Mechanics: twist is odd, nib is wobbly – 2/5
Ink quality: nothing to write home about – 3/5
Spinnability: possible but not easy – 2/5

Overall: 2.75

Sedo
Sedo is the global marketplace for buying and selling domain names and websites with offices in the US, Germany and London. Sedo offers our users all the tools needed to buy and sell domains among a community of users stretching around the world, including domain appraisals, brokerage services, promotion and last, but not least, Sedo’s popular domain parking program.

Body: purple with white grip and silver
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: white textured rubber
Branding/Logo: silver logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: contoured design is clearly from the same supplier as the adgooroo pen, but still cool – 4/5
Mechanics: looser than the adgooroo one – 3/5
Ink quality: took some real effort to get working – 1/5
Spinnability: great – 5/5

Overall: 3.25

SendTec
SendTec is the premier customer acquisition ad agency with expertise in multi-channel integrated direct marketing, both online and offline.

Body: white metal with black grip and chrome clip and details
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: smooth black rubber
Branding/Logo: logo and tagline, heavily printed so you can feel it

Rated on:
Aesthetics: pretty classy for swag – 4/5
Mechanics: nice click and feel – 4/5
Ink quality: standard – 3/5
Spinnability: good – 4/5

Overall: 3.75

The Search Agency
The Search Agency helps businesses develop effective online marketing strategies and improve their Search Engine Marketing and Search Engine Optimization results.

Body: clear orange plastic with white grip and chromed plastic clip
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: white textured rubber
Branding/Logo: white printed logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: orange is an acquired taste – 3/5
Mechanics: nice click – 4/5
Ink quality: very dry – 2/5
Spinnability: so-so – 2/5

Overall: 2.75

Yellowpages.com
“Need something?” For more than 125 years, consumers have trusted the Yellow Pages to deliver comprehensive information on local businesses. And today, wherever, however, and whenever they “need something” local, they use YellowPages.com.

Body: bright yellow shiny plastic with black details
Ink color: black
Click or Cap: click
Grippy: flashy black rubber racing stripes
Branding/Logo: black printed URL/logo

Rated on:
Aesthetics: distinctive – 4/5
Mechanics: strong spring, very solid – 4/5
Ink quality: sadly standard – 3/5
Spinnability: actually very good – 4/5

Overall: 3.75
On averages alone, the Marin Software pen wins, and that or the Marchex are likely to be in my pocket for a long time…though the Interwoven Rocket is easily one of the ‘must haves’ from this show. I am surprised to note that there is not a single blue ink pen in the bunch.

What does it all mean? Nothing, I’m sure, this was a lark that gave me an excuse to go check out the vendors. But if I’ve helped just one person have a better writing experience this week, then my work here is done. For now.

All company descriptions lifted from the exhibitor listings at the SES NY website; all other opinions are my own and should in no way be taken as reflective of the quality of the services or software provided by the merchants or of their respective marketing departments.